focus on the positive

wednesday morning i’m having an upper endoscopy. read what that is here. truth is, i’ve been avoiding medical tests like this for 18 months. although i’m very very very sick of being poked and prodded and drugged over the last 6 months (kidney stone surgery, bike accident, etc), i think i’m ready to find out if my digestive issues are more than just ibs/ibd. in the last 6 months, i’ve developed very painful stomach aches that i’m no longer able to control with my diet. so, i guess it’s time. i’m also having this done in july. it won’t be fun.

most people don’t talk about having these kinds of disorders publicly, but the longer i’ve struggled with it, the more i’ve realized that a lot of people suffer from the same symptoms as i do. and honestly, what’s the point in hiding it? everyone who knows me has seen the sad reality that every morsel i put into my mouth is a guessing game: will this wreck me and make the “enemy list” or will i survive it and make the “safe list”? it’s exhausting having to think about food so much. but it’s getting easier. and i feel very positive about it, despite my anxiety about little lights and a camera on a tube moving around my insides.

in order to get my mind off this, i’m thinking of things that make me happy. these include:

*weekly whiteout by 2 by design

*restructured clothing eye candy at adhesif

*beautiful stone walls

*that biking again will be in the not-so-distant future

*making this for dunch (dinner/lunch) with all my gals on sunday afternoon:

*the over-night trip C and I are taking to Toronto Thursday to shop for furniture for the house and the hotel we’re staying at:

here’s to discovery upper endoscopy: i hope you’re worth it!

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One Comment

  1. Eunice
    Posted June 22, 2010 at 6:19 pm | Permalink

    Rachel, thinking of you. i don’t envy you in the least. read your blog all the time and decided to drop a line while i veg in the waiting room with becky. you certainly have had your share of med. issues. keep your chin up–knowledge is power.
    love you, aunt eunice

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